sadness

Since this blog is a diary for me, its needs to be filled with all sorts of emotions a girl in her 20's is going through.  Earlier this week I got hit with some pretty big news I thought I would never have to hear in my life time for the two people in this world who love me the most, my parents. They had informed me they are going to start attending Marriage counseling. I felt like my heart dropped then and there.  What made this news so awful is that my dear friend came into my room the week before with tears that her parents are going to slit up.  Now her story has reason for the divorce but I still felt my heart cry for her.  I couldn't help but think how grateful and blessed I am to have both my parents still together and the great love their share.  I was going to write my family a letter this week telling them how blessed we truly our to have one another, I guess I waited too long.  So their we were Monday night all crying over skype.  I was very confused by this all because there have never been any signs of it at all. My parents don't ever fight, they are together all the time, and the love they show to each other and me and my brother is unconditional. As I'm now getting old I'm appreciating my parents for who they are more and more as individuals and as a married couple. So it breaks my heart just thinking about us not being together. I have prayed so much and talked to God and asked him to spend more time with my parents.  I cant imagine what life would be like without us all together, so to think about I cant even come up with a picture in my head.  Also my dad is no romantic but while on the phone with him the other day he told that he wrote my mom a letter and also bought her flowers. Made me cry. He told me he is willing to do anything to keep our family together and has too much to lose.  Now all that's left to do is support them in their counseling and hope it gets better.  I don't know why after 21 years of being married to your best friend would you ever think to leave them. Love never fails.

And now for the drama with the boyyyyyy. why must they drive us up the wall and make us wanna scream or tell them they are wrong, and why is it no matter how upset we may get, after its all said and done... we want to fall asleep next to them? That I still do not know.  I have talked about "b" before and how our little story had started and its still on the go, but this is a kind of relationship I have never been through before. Yes it is long distance which I don't mind, but the fact we were total, and I mean total strangers before we turned our relationship into something more.  We had spent a good two weeks talking (via text) before we actually met one another.. sounds more like a blind date.  But we really we clicked so well its like we knew one another long before.  Since we are living completely different lives, me in college and him in the REAL world we don't see each other often.  He works SO much where he sleep during all his free time. Is this far to me? I want a relationship, I want to love someone, I want to have fun and laugh and go on dates. This really is not what I signed up for and lately he has been slacking on the effort to talk to me.  It hopefully is a phase because I do really care for this boy and I could see myself with him. This is more me over analyzing everything..typical.  And then my fear comes up now which I told my mother, can I really believe in love now when the two people I love the most cant make it? My brain is just going crazy this week. SO on a happier note me and my dear friend are going to go do some retail shopping to lift the mood since she is also having major... bigger then mine boy issues.  May God hear my prayers.

(this statement will NEVER go out of style)