friends till the end

Hello! This super cute pic explains a lot about me and my relationships with all my best girls... know why? Because they are ALL blonde. Everyone besides K, who I met freshman year of college but she now has blonde high lights on her hair.  So with that said I love all pictures that have a blonde girl and a Burnett girl because it just reminds me of them!  I'm just so thankful for them all and learning more and more about them as we get older and the role they play in my life.  Because each one of my has their own personality and role of a friend they play in my life.  The saying is true, you are allowed to have more than one best friend. I could name 7 probably and I treasure them all.  3 of my main girls have birthdays coming up in April! Talk about sending cards filled with love and sharing thoughts on how I wish I could be there to celebrate!  Something about Birthdays that I just love.  I love giving, and putting smiles on peoples face.  It brings me joy.

I'm going home this weekend to spend some much needed time with my mama and possibly get a chance to see the boy.  Lately the girls have been iffy about him... but I cant just give up and quit just yet.  Yes, I do deserve better then the way he has been treating me, but when we are together it feels so right.  Distance should have to play a role in this relationship but it does. Sigh.  This isn't a perfect world so therefore there cannot be perfect, but both souls should give one hundred perfect.  So we will see. I must have fun with my first year in my twenties and be open to anything coming my way!

Something funny that my roommate stumbled upon while we sit at caribou and do homework blog and research quotes hehehe.  We had a great laugh picturing ourselves doing this and about died... you'll see..

its a good one ed (;

life life life

What a beautiful day it is today.  Classes went well and enjoy a nap that was much needed today.  When times are tough in life, which lately are more often then not, it really gets my mind thinking how am I going to get through this.  Even though things may not end the way you always wish they would, if the the feeling of understanding is understood and accepting things are out of control and the people all around you still love you, things will be ok and you will survie. I will survie any heartache that comes my way.

Bring on Spring time please!! I am so ready for it. I want the sun shining everyday and to wear flip flops instead of boots.  Being in college Im I dont get to see the latest trends which is sad and also sad because I cant afford them with the tight budget I am on, sad face.  But this summer hopefully I will be able to store away some cash and buy some cute things.  Nothing feels more better than to purchases something super cute and then to wear it and show it off.  Im big into rompers and dresses when it comes to summer... I think they fit my body better and I just feel more me.  Jean shorts are super cute, but on my not so thin body I guess I like to have mystery HAHA jk.. but just no to the jean shorts.

(floral is in again this summer... Im obsessed with it. Its girly and I like that!)

(Now this is a cute look! I must invest in more belts for this summer)

Xoxo

sunday

Hello Sunday. A day to rest and embrace in all the great TV shows that are out there.  Well, today I got motivated to work out and sex and the city was on the screen. What a perfect show to burn calories too. It was a perfect episode to watch with all the emotions and feelings I have been having lately, so let me share:

Carrie:
Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

---

I thought that this is so true!  All the relationships that you have they all mean something different then the next. But like they say you must love your self before you can love someone else.  Most girls stay with a guy for all the wrong reason when they know they deserve better.  I have yet to find that someone who loves the person who I am, because I love who I am.  So for now I'm going to enjoy the time I have with all my girlfriends and enjoy all the happiness that they bring to me and not give my heart or feelings out they way I use to. I guess they say when you know you know.

been too long

It has been over a week since I have posted. And I believe because their are so many emotions and so many things that are going on in my life I cant think all the clearly. My spring break was nice and relaxing. Up and downs but that's normal for a girl in her twenties going through a lot.  I had a nice trip with my mother up to see my grandpa and it was just nice to get away and get a lot of talking in about life and relationships.  Her and my dad its not there any more and the only thing I can do it love them both no matter what happens.  Me and my brother are becoming closer with all this that has happened in the last month.  Just turning to one another because we both are feeling the same pain.  He actually is making his first visit to see me today and I'm so excited for that. I admire the young man he is becoming and how lucky I am to have such a wonderful person in my life.  A dear friend A came to visit me and the roommate on Thursday and that was so lovely. She is from our home town too, and we had a good time.  I feel so lucky to have wonderful people in my life who want to be apart of your life and listen to all your stories and feel the pain you feel.  Its those rare souls you never wanna live without.

For a more school related topic that involves my future career, I started my first of 3 weekend classes yesterday. And I LOVE it.  It also helps that my teacher is so awesome and is so eager to help us learn and know more and she just loves to teach.  I hope I can find other classes to take with her.  She makes it more interesting and exciting.  The class is Applied Psychology, which we are basically learning more about the career we want to go into that involves psych.  My choice as of now is School counseling.  i enjoy kids so much and my dream job right now is to be a dean at a High school guiding kids in the right direction and just being there to listen to them.  Being that person they can come to with anything and Ill be there to listen and help.  But there are also SO many other things that I could be interested in but for right now I'm going to stick with this.  I will have to attend grad school also, so just going to be rolling around in more school loans but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end

Lets see, what else? Oh, I'm so ready for summer. I want the sun and the fun. I also will be able to move into my house starting in June which is going to be awesome. But I will be living at home this summer but making many trips back to school with friends to see more friends and enjoy fun crazy nights with all of the wonderful people who tend to make my day quiet often.  I will also be nannying my two favorite kids again for the 3 summer in a row. I will be looking forward to all of the adventures we will be mixing up this summer.

As for the boy. We must keep that updated too.  I just really wanna know what goes through their head and why they think saying and do somethings is OK, when clearly it just drives us girls CRAZY.  I may never understand.  I heard a good quote one time though, It is the people who you cant figure out, that are absolutely worth your while.  Which as hard as it is sometimes, but its the challenge and fun that come with that.  If they treat you right, and make you feel like the happiest girl in the world don't give up. I have that "someone" in my life still.  Though we did discuss what we are, we cannot say that we are "together" yet.  Which is a bit frustrating but understandable.  Having distance is never easy, so working with that can cause some stress and doubts but slow and steady wins the race so we will see where this goes.  I'm young so why not have fun and not get too serious so fast.

Cheers to the weekend!

 

good day gone

A good day gone all wrong.  A night of all tears. I don't feel like expressing what I feel right now, but just to know that I'm very hurt inside. This is my current facebook status:

Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you're not just a survivor. You're a warrior, and you're stronger than anything life throws your way -Brooke Davis

I just love Brooke. She has been my favorite and her strength in the character she plays is admiring.  She has been through so much, and it has only made her a stronger person. She has the most amazing friends in the world who support her through anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emgv-VRtMEU

My dear friend shared this with me. We are both going through hard issues with our families.  This song is comforting knowing God has a plan for me and my life. Just like he puts people into our lives for a reason, touching us in more ways than one.

"I know the plans i have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope -Jeremiah 29:11

This all is rambled thoughts and feelings being expressed in my "online" diary. Which has helped me so much in these last few months. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. Time heals all wounds. And Lord please hear my prayers. xoxo

spring break

(my favorite flowers)

Cheers to SPRING BREAK, unfortunately I will not be laying on a beach or walking any city streets of somewhere wonderful, I will simply be relaxing at home and hanging out with my family. Which is perfectly fine with me.  My roommate is in New York (very jealous) with her boy and seeing all the loveliness of the city. May she find some awesome things to bring home! On the other side of the US my other dear friend informed me today she is wearing my scarf that I lend her walking down the street of RODEO DR in Hollywood. Now if only I could be in either places with them that would be awesome.  We could be like the sex and the city girls, since our secret obsession is shopping (even though we have no money) and girl can always dreams and put outfits together in her head that she will someday want to own and wear HeHe.

 (the famous girl of sex and the city)

(quiet the eye candy, I must say)

Tonight is also the finale of the BACHELOR. For some reason this show is addicting to me and my girls at school, IDK why but it is.  Personally I feel like the guy is sorta fake but we cant see it all on TV.  Its just exciting to watch all the drama and root for your favorite girl in hopes she makes it to the end! And in this case my girl Emily does! Now I have read some spoilers... which was wrong. BUT I have a good feeling about tonight.  If he pics Chantel, I will be a bit upset and I don't think it will last.  She in my eyes is just not very good for him. And to let a girl like Emily go, you have to be crazy. So crossing my fingers she wins. Sadly I will be all alone and my mother wont watch it with me because in her view its very stupid, which I agree and would never wanna be on a show like this to fight for someone to love and chose you. No thank ya!

(may my girl Emily-the blonde. WIN)

HAPPY MONDAY!

Its no Starbucks, but right now I'm currently sitting in a local cafe sipping on some chia tea and doing some homework. Actually I have to be here for my homework to conduct my field experiment for my anthropology class, which I am enjoying thus far.  The people hear seem very friendly, and its enjoyment to me to sit and watch people while keeping to myself.  My hair I wear mostly straight but its has an intense natural wave to it which I mostly wear it like that during the week.  The nice man in his mid 50's told me he liked my hair... I don't think that has ever happened to me before. It was a very kind compliment and put a smile on my face during this gloomy Monday. Its mid terms this week so I have some sort of a big load to get done before I can enjoy my week off at home with my family. It may be a hard spring break, but it will be nice just to be with everyone at home.

I had a really good talk with my mom yesterday about it all, and I understand more where she is coming from.  It was a call filled with tears and understanding.  This will not be an easy for any of us but we must all have hope.  Its very sad knowing my mother is not happy with her marriage.  No women should ever feel that way if they married the person they love.  My dad is so wonderful, but they have a lot of work to do.  I feel like my presence at home will help them see a bit brighter on why we need to all stay together.  I have been doing lots of praying and my dad has asked me to find some books on relationships for him... he is no reader by all means but whats to do what ever he can to get things back the way they should be, and be that lover my mom needs.  Mom also told me today she wants me and my brother to go to counseling. Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but I have one brother. And that's it. He is younger than I am by 3 years and I treasure him so much since he is the only sibling I have.  She has been doing lots of research and says its good so we can talk to someone other than our parents about all our emotions we have and what is going on in our life. A dear friend told me this last night as we were late night chatting on FB. (facebook)

"and i can honestly say your one of the most positive and happiest people I know and you have to think that God made you that way so you can get through something like this" LG

It was very helpful to hear kind words like that. I'm so thankful for all my wonderful friends in my life I like to call my sisters. They are such a blessing and I don't know what I would do without them. Wishing my Irish luck comes in handy to get me through the rest of this week and I find many reasons to smile.

sadness

Since this blog is a diary for me, its needs to be filled with all sorts of emotions a girl in her 20's is going through.  Earlier this week I got hit with some pretty big news I thought I would never have to hear in my life time for the two people in this world who love me the most, my parents. They had informed me they are going to start attending Marriage counseling. I felt like my heart dropped then and there.  What made this news so awful is that my dear friend came into my room the week before with tears that her parents are going to slit up.  Now her story has reason for the divorce but I still felt my heart cry for her.  I couldn't help but think how grateful and blessed I am to have both my parents still together and the great love their share.  I was going to write my family a letter this week telling them how blessed we truly our to have one another, I guess I waited too long.  So their we were Monday night all crying over skype.  I was very confused by this all because there have never been any signs of it at all. My parents don't ever fight, they are together all the time, and the love they show to each other and me and my brother is unconditional. As I'm now getting old I'm appreciating my parents for who they are more and more as individuals and as a married couple. So it breaks my heart just thinking about us not being together. I have prayed so much and talked to God and asked him to spend more time with my parents.  I cant imagine what life would be like without us all together, so to think about I cant even come up with a picture in my head.  Also my dad is no romantic but while on the phone with him the other day he told that he wrote my mom a letter and also bought her flowers. Made me cry. He told me he is willing to do anything to keep our family together and has too much to lose.  Now all that's left to do is support them in their counseling and hope it gets better.  I don't know why after 21 years of being married to your best friend would you ever think to leave them. Love never fails.

And now for the drama with the boyyyyyy. why must they drive us up the wall and make us wanna scream or tell them they are wrong, and why is it no matter how upset we may get, after its all said and done... we want to fall asleep next to them? That I still do not know.  I have talked about "b" before and how our little story had started and its still on the go, but this is a kind of relationship I have never been through before. Yes it is long distance which I don't mind, but the fact we were total, and I mean total strangers before we turned our relationship into something more.  We had spent a good two weeks talking (via text) before we actually met one another.. sounds more like a blind date.  But we really we clicked so well its like we knew one another long before.  Since we are living completely different lives, me in college and him in the REAL world we don't see each other often.  He works SO much where he sleep during all his free time. Is this far to me? I want a relationship, I want to love someone, I want to have fun and laugh and go on dates. This really is not what I signed up for and lately he has been slacking on the effort to talk to me.  It hopefully is a phase because I do really care for this boy and I could see myself with him. This is more me over analyzing everything..typical.  And then my fear comes up now which I told my mother, can I really believe in love now when the two people I love the most cant make it? My brain is just going crazy this week. SO on a happier note me and my dear friend are going to go do some retail shopping to lift the mood since she is also having major... bigger then mine boy issues.  May God hear my prayers.

(this statement will NEVER go out of style)