Welcome 2011

Goodbye 2010.  When I think of this past year, not to many joys jump out at me.  It was a struggle and I felt a lot of hurt.  I believe I have lost friendships that will never be the same due to the selfishness of the other person.  I have been disappointed in people one to many times to count. I thought they were turning me into a better person, but really I was simply under a spell.  With all the hurt, I did find out more about myself, and that I am a stronger person because of it all.  Only being a sophomore in college I know I am young and have a big life ahead of me still, so why I do I feel like I want it all now?  We are suppose to enjoy all our moments each day and not fret about the past or worry about the future (which I do all the time).  I need to know it is in Gods hands, he knows my path and I'm suppose to enjoy my day today.  I have a hunch that this year will be a better year.  2009 was a wonderful year, where I met my best friends who I will call my bridesmaids someday, where I closed one chapter and started and new one, and where I met a boy who still gives me butterflies.  So it could just skip a year huh?  Being 20, I feel I have to focus so much about the serious stuff and not take the time to enjoy myself for who I am.  I have to constantly work for my future all the time, and it is so tiring. I guess its apart of growing up. But so far, I rang in the new year right.  Had my two amazing best friends to share the night with, had a midnight kiss and countless laughs and pictures that will remind me how wonderful my life is and the people that are in it. 

Some resolutions I think I should make for myself here:

Be Healthy

I want to be in shape.  I need to shed pounds to feel better about myself and keep working out part of my everyday schedule.  Also eat healthy.  Yes, junk is ok.  But its all about the portions, and I'm going to try and keep them small!

The Future

I some how make my mind spin about the future constantly.  I need to not rush things and joy me. My age the place I'm at in my life right now and the people around me.  Focus on the year ahead of me and all the my goals I want to reach instead of ten years from now.

Be Me

I'm a huge giver, that is just who I am.  But over the past year I feel its not so much appreciated and its hurtful.  I need to accept that I'm unique and I like it that way.  I don't care what others think about me, but I have come to realize I care what they think about my thoughts... or things I believe in.  And I'm too afraid I think to stand up for that, its frustrating.  We were all born to stand out.

Friends

I need to know who I can trust and who I cant.  Its true some people come into our lives and only stay for so long, and when they leave we are either left with a lesson learned good or bad.  Some come and make footprints in our heart and love us inside and out for who we are.  I need to stop trying to please everyone, and stop putting effort into the ones that don't care, its painful and cause unhappiness.  Ill continue to pray about this.