Life

Well, tonight I start the mark of my five weeks off for Christmas break.  I'm one of my only friends who has this long of a break so its sort of a down fall and by the fifth week I'm ready to head back.  So much has changed since this time last year.. my feelings towards things and people is what has changed most.  I view my friendships as one of the most important things right now in my life.  If it weren't for them and their uplifting spirits I may be one lonely girl.  Just like any relationship the simplest things are the big things, and when you don't see a friend very often because of hectic schedules and busy lives... a text or card can make a day.

I am a very different person and all my friends call me weird, but I like to refer to myself as unique or different, but in a good way.  I don't care what others think of me, I love the way I am and people love me for that.  I crack stupid jokes, I sing, but I'm horrible, I shout cause my voice is the only one that seems to carry, I'm confidant and sometimes make the first move which I'm sick of, and the list can just go on.  But that just makes me stand out so I can make my mark in peoples lives and sometimes change them for the better.  The boys who I use to date still to this day after years will facebook me or text me and try to apologize for how rude they were and sorry for hurting me.  I'm clearly over it and they were not worth the tears and hurt I felt, so its irritating but I guess nice at the same time.  Some of them even try to hang out again... no thanks that ship has long sailed and we are moving on to bigger and better things.  It sucks though because when I do have feelings for someone, the tend to linger around for at least six months after the relationship ended and its no fun.  I wont discuss the feelings I have now, but there is someone out there.

This past year... I guess I can kinda do a little recap but I have witnessed what you thought may have been a real friend, and who your real friends are. Friendship like I said before is very important to me, you can not just be content with all of them you have, that's how you lose friends.  You have to talk to them weekly and let them know the big things and the littlest things and how your world would not be the same if they were not in it.  Sometimes I don't feel appreciated for what I all do, but that's why I'm different cause I go over and beyond and that's just the way I am.  I'm first few months back at college I cried a few times a week.  Feeling lost, alone, and my heading always spinning.  Just over analyzing things that should just be left.  Life does not stop for anyone, no matter the cricumstance.  So we must pray, pray for guidance and understanding, and learn the hurt and the happiness.  I'm in my 20's and the bigger world is fastly catching up to me and I have so much more to learn about life.  Continue to stay with me on my journey.