There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

I don't even know where to begin other that I am a college graduate. "College is the best four year vacation of your life". That sentence is what my mother told me before I started my journey and she could of not been more right. I am truly humbled by the people and this place for the past four years. I could of not picked a better school nor have found some of the greatest people in this world. As I sit in my room taking down memories I cant help but cry. Crying because the past four years have been amazing, crying because this town is quite now, crying maybe because I will never get these days back, crying for my roommates and friends who are moving far away and starting their next chapter, yea all of those could be reasons I suppose. I cant just label one reason. The degree I just earned will take me more places then I could even imagined I'm sure. When asked about the best thing I have learned during college.. I couldn't say the test that I didn't study enough for, or assignments that were late or earning a bad grade when I knew I should of tried harder.. its the random nights we drank, we went on an adventure, we stayed up all night talking about our future husbands, ordering pizza and vegging out, showing up at each others houses, always wearing sweat pants and the list could go on. Due to the crappy weather the Midwest has been having Spring was skipped then BAM graduation and summer. Zero time to prepare. Now, all that's left are memories and pictures and those can never be replaced or forgotten about.

 

One of my newest best friends I met this year. We were lucky to have graduated together in the morning. It also rained, snowed, sunny, cold and cloudy all in one day but hey we still made sure we were cute :)

 Proof: Bachelors of Art in Psychology

Grandpa Swanson, Grandpa McDowell and my Dad.. Three great men in my life.

 Grandma McDowell, Aunt Beth and my biggest supporter and best friend, my Mom

 My cake.. my mom took it so of course its a bit blurry ;)

 Morgan who came to celebrate and also Cullen flew in from NY to surprise us all. Came here to LJ after my family left took two shots and left. Diva status HA

 Some of the best people I have met here... we are not friends we are family.

 My brother came to celebrate. Missed the ceremony due to his passion of fishing but non the less wanted to celebrate me and my accomplishments and I am truly blessed to have him and also our relationship. God spoiled me with him and my YOUNGER brother.

 Dance Parties: They will never get old. This living room will be truly missed by so many. Dancing to 22 here :)

 The great sign hanging at Log Jam for all to see :) I almost felt famous knowing hundreds of people saw my name up there this weekend for graduation. So lucky to have such great bosses who are also proud of us!

 This year new friendships were created.. took four years of knowing each other but lucky to call them my best friends. The road will not stop here for the love we share.

 Day after graduation, Mothers Day Celebration! Another year in the books celebrating our awesome loving mother for 22 years :)

The last Wednesday many of us have here. New friends, old friends.. we all share the loving bond of this small Wisconsin town.

 

A quote to end on:

So instead of growin' up, we just throw down, And I never knew how much I would miss this town, And I don’t know where, I can’t say when, But I know it won’t be long til we at it again’

Its almost spring..

 Enjoying a bike ride on a night where the sun was setting

 Visiting great friends and enjoying the weather

 A true friend

 Two guys I adore and still remain friends since high school

 celebrating life

Two peas in a pod

 

Spring is almost here! It should of been here... mother nature is clearly just going through a crisis. I am so ready for the nice weather so we can play outside and just enjoy the last days of school that we have left!

 

This past weekend I finally made it up to Moorhead. One of my best friends goes to school there and I finally got to see where she has been spending the last four years! We had a great time. Meeting all her friends I hear about, laughing often, never having a plan (that's always the best) and making some great videos and taking pictures. I'm so glad this trip happened.

 

I think ill save a sappy post about graduation for another day. Today is just too beautiful to get emotional. But its so soon.

 

I have so many blessing in my life and new people coming in and touching my heart. I look to God for that, one of his gifts he loves giving me I think, new people. Some will come and go some will come and stay and some for what ever reason will leave a mark on your heart forever.

saving grace

 My night was blessed with two 9 year olds and makeup

 Just running errands with dad and getting Starbucks

 Easter Sunday

 One of the coolest cats I know

A new friendship

 

These photos have been taken recently and behind the big smile is still a girl who has shed a lot of tears lately.

Lately the thought of bittersweet change is getting to me a little more than I wish it would. When someone leaves your life for whatever reason that your heart has invested some time in takes some time to get use to. Knowing memories are the greatest things we can hold on too makes you cherish them so much more.

 

Being around people who love you no matter what and accept you actually who you are is the best therapy ever.

 

I am taking an intro to counseling class, where you have a chance to be the client, counselor and observer in a group of three. I love that class and I know it will help me with my future. It was my turn to be the client and I was set on what I was going to talk about for the next 20 minutes. My one group member is about 29 and she is great with this and it was her turn to be the counselor. As I expressed my stress and anxiety forming more and more in my life due to my unknown future she dug deeper into the feelings more than I had planned for. I was trying to keep it together and then she said " I can see you are holding back tears" then I lost it. It felt good but that wasn't the first time I lost it that week. Talk about mother nature getting the best of me. She began to speak again... "its OK to cry" It was a laugh cry session for the rest of the time. HA as the other two guys were observing in the other room I just felt like a hot mess but also not judge one bit.

 

I know my future was planned before I came into this world 22 years ago. I know all Gods gifts that he gives to me and all the people who are in my life that make it so bright. A verse a wonderful friend shared with me today "wait for the Lord, be strong and your heart be courageous, wait for the Lord" I am so excited to see what he has in store for me.

Thursday

I found this on pinterest and I read it a few times until it made sense. This past month and the next few months ahead my life is changing in so many directions. Its almost hard to keep up with myself, the days I feel like crying and doing nothing I have to remember that I am here for a reason, I have purpose on this earth. Not everything I want in life is going to come all in one day. My future is so unclear right now, the only thing that is clear is that I will have a roof over my head, food to eat and family and friends surrounding me. And I think that is ok for now.

 

A boy who has taught me so much about the grown up life, will still be the boy I see on Mondays when I mentor but no longer the boy that will hold my hand. And I think that is ok for now too. I have gained so much strength with all the heart ache I have endured over the last two years. Yesterday marked 8 years that my grandmas has been gone, my moms mom. That women was powerful. She lived a rough life her whole life until a sick disease was more powerful than her. Talking to my mom yesterday, I realized we both probably got our strength from her. We don't expect much from others, we give more than we should and we have a great amount of strength in any situation. Funny how grandma is still working in my life from heaven :)

 

Its bittersweet to know I have a little over a month until I have accomplished something great, a degree. After that I can do anything I want and go where ever I want. I want someone to know my value, to not give up when life gets hard, confusing and busy. In my eyes that means you are weak. My devotionals have been speaking to me lately.

 

God loves you unconditionally. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head high, knowing that God is in control and He has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you'd hoped, but the bible says that God's ways are better and higher than our ways.

 

I have to remind myself that when something changes and I don't like it, its all apart of Gods plan. He has my life planned out to every failure and success. To every tear and every smile. I'm so glad that my faith has soared these past two years. I would have been very lost with out it.  The boy told me the other night when we agreed on not being together anymore that he thinks I have an amazing faith and its something he wants to work on for himself. That meant so much to hear that come from him. He truly will always be special to me.

 

On a lighter note! Spring break was a blast and Ill post pictures soon! It was great to relax and take in the huge ocean and sun :)

Spring Break!

Yes, spring break is finally here. It has come at thee perfect time as well. Enough with school, work, and the snow! Tuesday I will be on a plane bright and early to Miami! I have never been but me and three other beauties are dying to see what it has to offer. It was so fun to buy some new suits, bring out the dresses and pack. I can not wait to simply sit on the beach and just breathe. To remind myself how blessed I am with the people and things I have in my life. Also, to what I have accomplished in four years and the lessons, experiences and people I have met a long the way. I have grown so much in these past four years and I cant wait to reward myself with a vacation. Its been many years in I have been to a beach so that much is worth celebrating!

 

Now that we are all legal, def may have to buy a drink or two on the plane :) I am just so excited for this break away from many things! May God watch over us as we take on Miami! Oh, the Kardashions always talk about Cuban coffee.. I will be trying some.

 

XOXO

life...

When I reread this quote is just continues to make sense. Perfect does not exist in my world at all, I will never be perfect and I don't expect the people around me to be either. For the first time since I can remember I don't have the next plan.

 

I received the sad news that neither grad school wanted to have me in their program this next year. Now I am very confident in who I am, but I am not cocky. I had a good attitude about getting into grad school but I was not going to be devastated if I didn't. I probably need more experience in the field and that's OK. I had great support from my family, friends and boy. I need to be proud of myself in the effort and time I took to apply and know that in only 3 short months I will be a graduate from college! Its normal in your twenties I think to not know what the next chapter will be. I am trying to embrace it and not stress myself out too much. This year God has tested me in so many ways and I still continue to talk to him daily.

 

My mom shared a good quote with me the day she called me about my letters, everything has a crack in it, that's how the light gets in. Its true. It we plan our life to a T we are only setting our self up for disappointment. I have this image in my head too much lately how things are "suppose" to be. On what the life of a 22 year old should be, what a relationship should be like, but my man has a full time job and other important commitments and still tries his hardest to make sure I am smiling. I am so proud of all he does and have to understand we don't have a normal relationship, but its ours. I am falling in love with him, I can see us being together to awhile and I could see raising kids with him. But things happen and that's why you still have to guard your heart and know God is in control.

 

In two short weeks I will be on a plane to Miami. I haven't been on the beach in a long time and the only thing I am looking forward to is laying on the beach, reading, listening to the waves and taking in all the life I have lived thus far. Just 4 of us girls are going and it should be a great time. I am glad I am taking a trip my senior year to help celebrate all that I have accomplished.

 

I also want to shout out to all my best girlfriends from high school who will also be graduating this year as well. Four years ago we all graduated from the same school and now we will all be celebrating in different cities and states. I am so excited to see the plans that God has in store for us. There is just so much to celebrate in life, we are all so blessed.

 

XOXO

HAPPY FRIDAY

 Friends since 10th grade!

Miss Blake and I

This week has been great for so many little things. Got to spend some extra time with girlfriends which I always love. Went a few days without seeing the boyfriend which is always exciting for the fact I miss him more! Saw Safe Haven, SO good. Cried but that is only natural. Even the boy liked it too. A best friend flew back from NY so it was great seeing her last night. Its a blizzard out as I type but Miami says its 80 and sunny there :) I just have so many positive blessings to give thanks to God for and I hope that continues.

 

HAPPY FRIDAY XOXO