Thursday

I found this on pinterest and I read it a few times until it made sense. This past month and the next few months ahead my life is changing in so many directions. Its almost hard to keep up with myself, the days I feel like crying and doing nothing I have to remember that I am here for a reason, I have purpose on this earth. Not everything I want in life is going to come all in one day. My future is so unclear right now, the only thing that is clear is that I will have a roof over my head, food to eat and family and friends surrounding me. And I think that is ok for now.

 

A boy who has taught me so much about the grown up life, will still be the boy I see on Mondays when I mentor but no longer the boy that will hold my hand. And I think that is ok for now too. I have gained so much strength with all the heart ache I have endured over the last two years. Yesterday marked 8 years that my grandmas has been gone, my moms mom. That women was powerful. She lived a rough life her whole life until a sick disease was more powerful than her. Talking to my mom yesterday, I realized we both probably got our strength from her. We don't expect much from others, we give more than we should and we have a great amount of strength in any situation. Funny how grandma is still working in my life from heaven :)

 

Its bittersweet to know I have a little over a month until I have accomplished something great, a degree. After that I can do anything I want and go where ever I want. I want someone to know my value, to not give up when life gets hard, confusing and busy. In my eyes that means you are weak. My devotionals have been speaking to me lately.

 

God loves you unconditionally. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head high, knowing that God is in control and He has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you'd hoped, but the bible says that God's ways are better and higher than our ways.

 

I have to remind myself that when something changes and I don't like it, its all apart of Gods plan. He has my life planned out to every failure and success. To every tear and every smile. I'm so glad that my faith has soared these past two years. I would have been very lost with out it.  The boy told me the other night when we agreed on not being together anymore that he thinks I have an amazing faith and its something he wants to work on for himself. That meant so much to hear that come from him. He truly will always be special to me.

 

On a lighter note! Spring break was a blast and Ill post pictures soon! It was great to relax and take in the huge ocean and sun :)