a purpose

Life just keeps getting more and more exciting and also more and more challenging. When I was 13 and wanted to grow up every time I didn't get my way, or my mother was giving me a life lesson... I wish I could of enjoyed it more. I know I had a great childhood and all the things my mother prevented me to do, all the nights she worried, and all the opportunities she gave me, I am ever so grateful for the person I am today and what I believe I am set to do in this world. 

Knowing I have one full year of college left makes me want to pee my pants. Evaluating the girl I was when I came into this chapter of my life and the women I will be when I come out, blows my mind.  I have gained so much knowledge and experienced so many new things.  I am so thankful for the opportunity God has blessed me with and the gifts he has given me also.  I know what I want to be, my fear is just how I will get there, the struggles along the way and if I will be able to succeed.  I have to stop worrying though, sometimes I just wanna smack myself.  I need to have more trust in him and myself and know everything will turn out the way its suppose to.  I have a great support group cheering me on, and I just wanna make them proud and myself. 

 I think my purpose in this world (what I have concluded thus far at age 21) is to help others, wear my heart on my sleeve and always see the good things in people.  Those three things will get me somewhere, I believe that. Where?  That would be the exciting part, I have to accept that it is the exciting part.

While home this past weekend I had breakfast with my wonderful brother. Who I am so proud of.  When I asked him what he thought if I ever chose to move away either for my boyfriend (who I love) or if it were for a career. And I was a bit surprised... he told me " Johanna. Its ok to move away from your family" I guess it took me back because it was like him tell me its ok to move away, encouraging me at the same time, and also saying the love of our family wont change.  It makes me a little sad, but also like a weight lifted off knowing my brother supports and will understand what I choose to do in my future.

Why is scares me so much, I really don't know.  I know things will work out. I must never plan for my future for God laughs at those who plan. I am just thankful for him.  I cant always feel safe and I think that's why I am afraid to move away in fear of not feeling safe and that I am "leaving" my family when i really am now.

UGH! Just a little venting on something that has been on my mind.  Feels good to express myself here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbsHKqvfVRQ&feature=player_embedded

Check out the Video above! The creator of the ShineProject. Ashley, I have been following her blog for sometime and I think what she is doing is great. Makes me motivated to doing something my self... Ill get there someday. Listen to her story and follow her! You will get inspired in so many different ways.

Enjoy :)!