good mornings

For some reasons mornings are my favorite. I just plain old love them.  Maybe, its because they mean the start of a new day, or you can drink coffee in the quiet, or maybe its the rise of the sun that wakes my soul up for all the days possibilities.  I just love mornings.

This year, I'm looking forward to waking up in my house and sipping on coffee before class, checking my blogs while the sun peers through my windows, and sitting in my pajamas.  One of the great things also, it the texts you sometimes wake up to. Those are simply the best.  Last year a dear friend of mine would text me in the morning twice a week when we had class together and I LOVED it.  No, it wasn't from a guy, but a girlfriend and it was still sweet to wake up to.  The next relationship I am in, I want those cute text.  It takes like less then a second to text someone something cute in the morning.  But they have to want to, it will be important to me so I hope it will be important to them.  Getting a text is a great way to start off the day, and puts a smile on your face before you even get out of bed!

I absolutely love this, one day :)

I also can sport this well.

Cheers to mornings!

lets catch up on this crazy thing call life

Its been awhile but sometimes life just gets in the way and you wanna go crazy and just scream.  Too often that happened to me this summer, but I made it through.  I have about two weeks left before I head back to school and am looking forward to this year and what it all has to offer for me.  Ill be living in a house with three other amazing girlfriends and also be turning 21 during my junior year.  A few years ago I thought that this time would never come, being half way done with college. It has been a wonderful experience and I have met some amazing people that make me think where have you been my whole life.  So, cheers to a new year and a new beginning.

Now, for some catching up on this twenty girls crazy summer...

My dad is now healing in the smallest way with the divorce and is no longer angry.  It breaks my heart when I see him sad or see him cry and try my toughest to lift him up with positive thoughts.  Its been about 7 months since this horrible thing has happened but sure has made me look at life differently and how you treat people that you love.  And also my vision of love too.  Its not easy, and I think when you I do fall in love it will be hard to me to open up and let people in.  I'm still working on that with all the past failed relationships.  Like they say you must be with all the wrong ones before you find the right one.

My mom has started to date, and has a "boyfriend" but when I talk about him I just refer to him as her friend. He is a very nice guy and makes her happy.. but I still think it was too fast.  For some reason it doesnt bother me as much as I thought it would... but my brother on the other hand has had a tough time with it.  If it makes her happy she should be with him since she has not felt that way in a long time.  Just like me she will date guys some longer than the other, it is still weird to think about.  I pray that my dad can find happiness again, and love.  It will take him longer but I believe he will be ok, and he will find someone to share some happines with.

Last summer I had absolutely no romance, and now this summer more than one romance has occurred.  in previous post about the guy that didn't kiss me... well he turned out also to stop talking to me also, to talking to me again, to stop talking to me.  What a winner right? I was so upset the first time because there was no reason just plain old stopped.  That all was cleared up about three weeks later, but I had moved on from being bitter from it because I was not about to waste my feelings on him.  I know we are still OK and I could call him for a favor and he would come to my rescue... I guess its a perfect example of something that is not meant to be.

Now, for the next boy this summer.  So far he has topped them all.  He works for my moms "friend"

and has been wanting to meet me pretty much the whole summer.  I was always hesitate because my mother and I don't always have the same taste in looks HAHA and I was still hung up on the jerk from school.  But I ended up meeting him at a fish weigh in and I thought he was pretty awesome for the 20 minutes that we spoke.  He finally got my number and we went out on a date.  Fishing and dairy queen.  It was wonderful and he did kiss me once the night ended!  And the nights after that also when ever I saw him.  Last week we spent a lot of time together and I grew to like him more and more.  I know I know he likes me though we have never told one another.  Now he is back at school, with less free time to talk I feel like its already drifting... I dont know much about him and the way he works but I need to slow my thinking down or I am just going end up disappointing myself again. NO GOOD.  For now, I have to look at it as something new, and accept the fact his life has a change it because he now has school and see how much effort he makes into talking to me.  My brother has told me more than once I hold onto guys longer than I should, and I do.  I cant    keep doing that.  He is pretty awesome and I am willing to work at it if he does, and if he gives up (like every other guy I have known) that just means there is better out there.

Whew, enough of venting! Mi goodness.  With all the craziness this summer I am so thankful for the love and support from my girlfriends and family.  Never new the beginning of my twenties would be so emotional but it has just made me a stronger person and I found out how tough I really am.

No one promised life would be easy, but they promised it would be worth it.

I still have a purpose on this earth

Saturday morning was a bit rough to say the least.  My mom and I were headed to do some shopping and it had started storm bad that morning. I was driving and we were just talking about life, well the downs of it at that moment.  How many problems the Focus has for one, and what we were going to do that afternoon regards to shopping.  My mom even offered to drive, but I knew I could handle it.  The rain was getting heavy and the stupid defrost switch did not work, so plan B right?  Well, that included my mom unbuckling her seat belt and taking a napkin to wipe off the wind shield so I could see.  And in that few minutes I started to hydroplane which led to us rolling the car and sliding in the ditch on our side..

All's I could think about was "ill be OK, stay strong, God is with us, we will be OK"  And to his mercy we were.  Since my mother didn't have her seat belt on she flew around in the car, so sad.  She landed on me and i started to panic because I was stuck and Ill's I wanted to do was get up pop open the door and find my phone to call 911.  To the angels who had already stopped the police was on their way.  I immediately called my Dad with the horrible news and told him we were OK but to meet us at the hospital.  The of course I had to call my brother... he had to know and poor thing that was his wake up call because he was sleeping.

A man had taken off his shirt in the pouring rain for my moms face since there was blood everywhere.  Other angels climb on top of the car to help me and her out since we were too weak to get our selves out.  More angels had also gave us blankets to wrap in since it was cold and rainy.  We still have a blanket that we now call our "angel blanket" Ill never be able to thank those people but we are ever so grateful for them.  God was really with us that morning along with my grandma.  We rode off in the ambulance, me with no scratches and mom in bad pain because her head had hit the windshield.  She looked like she got beat up but is getting better each day with all her bruises and swollen face.

God still wants us on this earth, why?  I'm still trusting the path of my life in his hands and that day was just proof miracles happen since we could of been killed and it was not our time to leave.  Just so blessed with all the kind strangers that stopped and the warm wishes from family and friends.  Just another reason to think, what a year this has been.

On to happy news now!  That night was my dear friends 20th birthday and we went to the fun Chino Latinos, did some shopping and celebrated that night.  A rock star I was.  I did hit the hay early but I was tired and sore so I was allowed to HAHA. Scored some cute dresses that I cant wait to wear :) 

Looking forward to the rest of the weekend and weekend! Oh and ONE week till WE FEST :)

Us girls that night with the birthday girl Lauren!

Oh PS this song I heard from a good friend is just too cute!

XOXO

them boys

So, lately with all the fuss and buss about life, I always try and find a reason to smile.  And today my roommate did just that for me.  With a phone call to catch up and a card in the mail to help remind myself that I am special and that I deserve the best and he IS out there.  The old fling I had for about three months.. well he still is in my head. Why? Well because he still tells me he misses me and that I will always be special to him.  It just sucked that life had to get in the way of us trying to build a relationship.  So, I guess I can say there is proof that total strangers can become special people.  I do miss him, but I have not told him that.  I have too many other things on my plate.  Colby I thought described my thoughts for this boy very well.

I hope to see him before summer ends.

night swimming!

Us girls last night out on the boat in the 100 degree weather! Well worth it.  It was such a pretty night with the sun setting, loons calling, and good tunes to rock to. Oh and cant forget the great people!  I got to be the captain once also :) the bugs were just so bad we had to move.  Me and L also were the first two to jump in and to our surprise when we popped up the boat was taking off. Yes, talk about rude.  I handled it very well where she on the other had was a bit panic HAHA the night ended with some drinks and great talks.  FINALLY, my great girl Scotti is now home! And it was such a joy to have her presence back.  Cant wait to finish this summer off with crazy adventures!

XOXO

bits of sunshine

best brother in the world

a true best friend

fishing for the first time in years!

this song is AWESOME!

these words

I didnt know 20 would be so hard.

I'm sure I will be repeating myself, but that's usually how I talk so I think I will at least get it right?  I never thought when I would hit 20 it would be a roller coaster of emotions.  I thought maybe it would be fun, or adventurous, scary even.  But no, I really had to grow up. I have had to deal with things and go through things I never thought I would. But God does these things for a reason in our life and we are suppose to grow and learn from them. And that is what I am doing exactly.  I often cry, well all the time actually.  Life just gets too stressful and I feel like I don't have anyone to turn to to help me out.  Understand my emotions, hold me and just let me cry.  I will start to feel sorry for myself until I remember all the gifts I have in my life and how someone else is walking in worse shoes than I am.  I truly am a firm believer in never judging a book by its cover.  So many people including myself can walk around with a smile on their face and know one would ever know they are hurting inside.

I never would of thought I would think this, but I kinda want summer to be over.  Its been filled with drama, tears, arguments, hurt hearts, dumb boys, and no money.  But that's life right? Sure is, I couldn't imagine working another job besides my nanny one. I hardly have time for friends and with my parents being divorced I don't get to see one of my best friends, my mom.  It has been really hard for me lately.  She is a strong hard working women, and a daughter always needs her mom and lately I feel to far away from her emotionally and physically to call her my friend.  Its so hard with the lives we have now.  I'm really making choices on my own and telling her them after they are made.  Where she use to be apart of the making process and listening to every detail I had to say.  It just been really hard this summer. 

But looking back so far I have had some great times with good people. Met a boy I thought would be different but as of right now, he is sadly like the rest.  I thought me and God both saw something special.  I still do believe that person is out there for me. Hiding obviously since I haven't found him yet, but he will want to treat me well and never let me go.  A very good friend told me this today as I was venting about my boy situation " God has a plan for you and would never leave someone so giving and thoughtful alone." of course that made me cry.  But that's what best friends do. They are there no matter what and say the things that you need to hear.

Some inspirational quotes that I am enjoying at the moment:

Also, a shout out to almost every girl in this picture who has touched me in so many ways, has always been there no matter what. Thank you for that!

XOXO