Thursday

I found this on pinterest and I read it a few times until it made sense. This past month and the next few months ahead my life is changing in so many directions. Its almost hard to keep up with myself, the days I feel like crying and doing nothing I have to remember that I am here for a reason, I have purpose on this earth. Not everything I want in life is going to come all in one day. My future is so unclear right now, the only thing that is clear is that I will have a roof over my head, food to eat and family and friends surrounding me. And I think that is ok for now.

 

A boy who has taught me so much about the grown up life, will still be the boy I see on Mondays when I mentor but no longer the boy that will hold my hand. And I think that is ok for now too. I have gained so much strength with all the heart ache I have endured over the last two years. Yesterday marked 8 years that my grandmas has been gone, my moms mom. That women was powerful. She lived a rough life her whole life until a sick disease was more powerful than her. Talking to my mom yesterday, I realized we both probably got our strength from her. We don't expect much from others, we give more than we should and we have a great amount of strength in any situation. Funny how grandma is still working in my life from heaven :)

 

Its bittersweet to know I have a little over a month until I have accomplished something great, a degree. After that I can do anything I want and go where ever I want. I want someone to know my value, to not give up when life gets hard, confusing and busy. In my eyes that means you are weak. My devotionals have been speaking to me lately.

 

God loves you unconditionally. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head high, knowing that God is in control and He has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you'd hoped, but the bible says that God's ways are better and higher than our ways.

 

I have to remind myself that when something changes and I don't like it, its all apart of Gods plan. He has my life planned out to every failure and success. To every tear and every smile. I'm so glad that my faith has soared these past two years. I would have been very lost with out it.  The boy told me the other night when we agreed on not being together anymore that he thinks I have an amazing faith and its something he wants to work on for himself. That meant so much to hear that come from him. He truly will always be special to me.

 

On a lighter note! Spring break was a blast and Ill post pictures soon! It was great to relax and take in the huge ocean and sun :)

Spring Break!

Yes, spring break is finally here. It has come at thee perfect time as well. Enough with school, work, and the snow! Tuesday I will be on a plane bright and early to Miami! I have never been but me and three other beauties are dying to see what it has to offer. It was so fun to buy some new suits, bring out the dresses and pack. I can not wait to simply sit on the beach and just breathe. To remind myself how blessed I am with the people and things I have in my life. Also, to what I have accomplished in four years and the lessons, experiences and people I have met a long the way. I have grown so much in these past four years and I cant wait to reward myself with a vacation. Its been many years in I have been to a beach so that much is worth celebrating!

 

Now that we are all legal, def may have to buy a drink or two on the plane :) I am just so excited for this break away from many things! May God watch over us as we take on Miami! Oh, the Kardashions always talk about Cuban coffee.. I will be trying some.

 

XOXO

life...

When I reread this quote is just continues to make sense. Perfect does not exist in my world at all, I will never be perfect and I don't expect the people around me to be either. For the first time since I can remember I don't have the next plan.

 

I received the sad news that neither grad school wanted to have me in their program this next year. Now I am very confident in who I am, but I am not cocky. I had a good attitude about getting into grad school but I was not going to be devastated if I didn't. I probably need more experience in the field and that's OK. I had great support from my family, friends and boy. I need to be proud of myself in the effort and time I took to apply and know that in only 3 short months I will be a graduate from college! Its normal in your twenties I think to not know what the next chapter will be. I am trying to embrace it and not stress myself out too much. This year God has tested me in so many ways and I still continue to talk to him daily.

 

My mom shared a good quote with me the day she called me about my letters, everything has a crack in it, that's how the light gets in. Its true. It we plan our life to a T we are only setting our self up for disappointment. I have this image in my head too much lately how things are "suppose" to be. On what the life of a 22 year old should be, what a relationship should be like, but my man has a full time job and other important commitments and still tries his hardest to make sure I am smiling. I am so proud of all he does and have to understand we don't have a normal relationship, but its ours. I am falling in love with him, I can see us being together to awhile and I could see raising kids with him. But things happen and that's why you still have to guard your heart and know God is in control.

 

In two short weeks I will be on a plane to Miami. I haven't been on the beach in a long time and the only thing I am looking forward to is laying on the beach, reading, listening to the waves and taking in all the life I have lived thus far. Just 4 of us girls are going and it should be a great time. I am glad I am taking a trip my senior year to help celebrate all that I have accomplished.

 

I also want to shout out to all my best girlfriends from high school who will also be graduating this year as well. Four years ago we all graduated from the same school and now we will all be celebrating in different cities and states. I am so excited to see the plans that God has in store for us. There is just so much to celebrate in life, we are all so blessed.

 

XOXO